Complicated

I promised myself I would never fall in love with you. But it was my dark days, and we were laughing way too hard, and I felt happy for the first time in a long time.. And I knew I was screwed. I meet you and I just click. I'm so comfortable with you and I don't have to pretend to be anyone or anything. I guess I love you. Really, really love you. I don't know why, I just did. I want to be with you, it is as simple and as complicated as that. The funny thing is I've been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. I admire my heart for that.

I'm trying my hardest to not act how I feel. I'm sorry because I love you too much and I show it too little. I know I'm wrong because I love you and don't tell it to you. I don't have a courage to do it. I'm scared if I tell you about my feelings, it'll cause problems. I don't want us to be strangers.

Before I fall asleep, I always think of you.. The words you said, the things we laughed about, the way you looked at me, the silent moments we shared.. And when I dreamed, it was about you, it was always about you. There is never a night that you don't cross my mind. Even if you didn't love me, I adored you. Maybe it sounds hypocritical, but I won't set my hopes too high on you, I only hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.

But what if I never get over you?
What if I continue to wake up every day of my fucking life and still want you so badly that my bones shake so much that they feel like they're going to break?
What if I keep waiting for a sign from God that never comes?
What if you never love me back?

I care about you, and I should want you to be happy. Even it means I must wind up being left out. I said that because I know we fall in love more than once. It will happen again.